Door Number Three

I feel like
I am pushing
Against an invisible barrier
And every step I take
Ends up with me being
Even further behind
Than when I started
To move forward
So how can I be moving backward?

I don't feel pain
Or hurt
Or depression
Or anger
I am moving
I am working on "stuff"
But when I look around me
I realise I have been distracted
And during my distractions
The little pixies have come
And added a few more
Bits of "stuff"
To the "stuff" I am already working on.

I know the answer.
BUT
I also know that I am making excuses.
I know that I don't know that what I am planning will be something I will be able to maintain.
I know that I want to try.
I know that I can try.
I know that I will be tempted to give in.
But that is what temptation is.
Making you want to do something that you really want to do anyway.

So, do you need to just remove the temptation?
Or do you need to condemn your own wants?

But surely there is something else behind door number three...

It Would Seem

As I try to tidy things up,
I seem to be making more mess.

Then the kids touch the mess
and make even more mess
and I get cranky
at them
for making more mess
and at me
for making the first mess
and for not tidying it up sooner
and for getting cranky at the kids.

I really need all of the mess
gone
by Sunday,
or maybe Saturday.

Having family over
and one special friend.

Sad that one member of my family wasn't invited.
My choice.
But still sad.

Proud of my kids.
Changes to our routine this year.
All going so smoothly.
Active kids.
Busy Kids.
But a little less busy this year, which is good.
And a lot less busy than their older siblings,
which has been difficult to obtain
but I can be stubborn
mostly pretty cruisey
but sometimes
very stubborn
perhaps more so again these days.

My computer is being a bit finicky.
Needs a reboot - that's where I kick it with my Doc's on twice.
Printer is being worse than finicky.

So many things
on my To Do list.
All of them that I actually want to do.
Not having as many of those days where everything is possible as I need to be having but still having them, which is a good thing (good, good in fact), and I have a cunning plan.

Well, not really cunning as such
but I just love saying that;
good old Baldrick.

That's all.
Just idle ramblings.
Bit of a brain dump.
Not very interesting at all, it would seem.

Another Problem to Solve

Yawning.

Songs in my head,
Keeping my headache company.

"There must be something we can talk about,
...
There must be something we can do,
...
We can get together,
We can get together"

Would it surprise you to learn that up until yesterday we still had our Christmas tree up?
It surprises me.

It's not up anymore.

That was my Tuesday task.
And "technically", it was completed because I defined the task as "taking the tree down".
And down it is.
But away it is not.
Because, like clothes in a wardrobe, the box it belongs in seems to have shrunk,
And I don't know why or how,
But it seriously doesn't look like it will fit.

Another problem to solve.

P.S. Sending love, peace and comfort to those in need today ♥