Meant To Be

We are holistic beings
meaning
everything we do
has affects and consequenses
on other aspects of us
and our lives.

What works for some
does not always work for others
in terms of paths and attitudes
but there are undeniable basics
that work for all.

These are the natural laws
under which we all live
and which I believe
are the ongoing work of God
and when chronology is seen as a concept
rather than another natural law
the real natural laws
can be seen as creation
and the science of God
where the two work hand in hand
and are one
as are we all.

So many times
I think about getting back to these basics
of existence
but so many times
I fail to make it through even one day
where all of my choices
support what I
with all my heart and all my soul
believe will help.

This is where it is obvious
that I am an individual
and like all individuals
I have my own path
and my own attitude
and need to find my own way
with who and what I am
to get to the point
where I am holistically honouring
who I am
and who I am meant to be.

Again Now

Mixed messages
from the universe.

How unusual.

How to sort out
what I'm thinking
and what I'm feeling
and know
how to move through each day
working towards
living a purposeful existence?

How to find the time
and the inspiration
and the motivation?

Do these things even exist?

I'm beginning to doubt
that there was ever a time
when these things were
part of me
part of my life
so how can I expect
to find them again now?

Don't

Standing on the outside
not even bothering
to look very far in
because I don't like what I see.

That is me today.

It's hard to look in
because looking in
reinforces the fact
that I am on the outside
and I have no idea
why I'm here
and not in there
although there is a level of belief
that tells me
this is partly my own doing
and partly my own destiny
so on that logic
it is not you
who does not let me in
it is not you
who makes me feel like I do not belong
it is not you
who excludes
it is just who I am
and who I am meant to be
on the path I am meant to walk.

Do I like it?
Am I happy about it?
Would this be what I chose for myself
if I felt I actually had a choice?

No, not at all.

But what else can I do?
Do I want to struggle?
Do I want to feel
like I am constantly battling against myself
and the universe?

When I barely have the strength
or the fortitude
or resilience
to fight the daily fight of existence
how could I possibly believe
I have the energy
to fight such other enormous forces?

And to that
the answer is simple:
I don't.