The Self

Are you taking the time
to create the things today
that you can look back on tomorrow
and say,
"yes! That is where I was then,
and this is where I am now,
and I received messages then
that I needed for my future,
which is finally
my present"?

Ok, so this *exact* phrasing
is probably not *that* likely,
but when you think of it
isn't is really
quite relevant?

What can you find
in and around your home
and your families homes
that reminds you
of a time
and a place
in which you once
existed?

What can you find
in and around your life
that reminds you
of a time
that once was
but is
and can be
no longer?

You have progressed,
yes,
but how do you know this?

How do you see this?

How do you measure this?

And,
most importantly,
how do you learn from this?

PERTH - INITIATION
RAIDO - JOURNEY
ANSUZ - SIGNALS
DAGAZ - BREAKTHROUGH
EHWAZ - MOVEMENT
THURISAZ - GATEWAY
MANNAZ - THE SELF

It's Not

Am thinking about
broken promises.

Have been thinking about
broken promises
for a few weeks now.

Trying to get perspective
because one day
I looked around
and that was all I saw.

But that wasn't the thing
that I needed to
get perspective
about.

The thing that I really struggled with
was that
in my truest of hearts
where my character was born
and nurtured
despite all I experience
I saw these broken promises
and kind of thought
that they were ok
when what I thought I should think
was that they were an abomination
and that they reflected poorly
on all those who made promises
and chose to break them.

But even after weeks of thought
I can see
that this simply isn't true.

It's still hard for me to say
but broken promises can be
perhaps
a bad thing
but it is a
worse thing
to stand by a promise
that does you more dishonour
than would be the case
once that promise
is broken.

The reality is
that the world is mutable
and people need to also
move in this state of flux
sometimes
if they are going to survive
both on the outside
as well as on the inside
and that breaking a promise
can actually still be done
with honour.

Whether someone else
chooses
to see the honour in that
today
or tomorrow
or ten years down the track
well, that's up to them.

So, to all of the people
whose broken promises
have come to sit for a spell
with me
in my heart
and in my head
I thank you
for helping me in my lessons on
empathy
respect
understanding
patience
compassion
release
honesty
adaptability
support
forgiveness
and unconditional love.

But
thank you
most of all
for helping me in my lessons on
being true to myself
and being able to make
my own choice
in the here and now
and knowing
that everyone is just doing their best
at the time
and that includes me.

This is not to say
that it is ok
for a first option
to be to opt for the easy out
(because we all know there are no easy outs)
and break our promises.

It is also not to say
that we create an
image of perfection
that cannot possibly be maintained
when we make a promise
so we should therefore
not make promises at all
what a terrible world
it would be
without any promises at all.

But, we do have to be realistic
about the role and purpose of promises.

When we make a promise
we are saying,
"this is how I hope it will be"
and this is always something
we should work towards
but
as with everything in life
when we consider out choices
we do so with all of the new knowledge
that we acquire each day
and we need to apply that new knowledge
to our promises
whether they were to someone we love
or to someone we once loved
or to someone we never loved
or even to ourselves
and if we have learned something
and it makes us realise
that hard as it may be
our promises no longer serve us
or those around us
we need to make a better choice today.

We can do this
and still wish we felt
like we did when we made that promise
in the first place
but we can't just keep a promise
for the sake of the promise
because
a promise needs to have substance
otherwise
it is just words
and we don't live in a world of words
we live in a world of actions
and we each get to chose our own actions
in each instance
every moment of the day.

So, whether I make a promise to myself
to give up junk food
or if I make a promise to my child
that I will never let anyone break their heart
of if I make a promise to my sister
that I will stand beside her on this journey
and then circumstances change
and my priorities in life change
and what I need more than the comfort
of the words in that promise
is to honour my self and my heart
and for the person I made the promise to
to do the same
then it is ok
if I do it the right way
and lead with my heart
as best I can at the time
to break that promise
and live in love
truth
and light
always.

And the same
for when
someone else
breaks their promise
to me.

And I can wish it were different
but it's not.

Looking After Me

Yesterday
was a reminder
of God's placement and timing.

This is something I often think about
but yesterday gave me
a very powerful
message
on the difference
that a change of 30 seconds
either faster or slower
could make in your life.

Yesterday
I saw something
that I think we all know
and exist with every day
but easily come complacent about
and take for granted
because to do otherwise
would be to live in complete fear
and an absence of faith and trust in God
which is not how we are meant to live.

Yesterday
I clearly saw before
the string of events behind me
the choices I made
and the realisation that these choices
seemed even at the time
to be much more conscious
than normal
and which placed me
in exactly the right position
at exactly the right moment
to make a very point
that was potentially horrendous
but which turned out to be
nothing more than inconvenient.

Yesterday
I saw that when I chose to stop and get petrol when I did
it was part of the workings of this lesson
and when I chose the activities for the day
the visits
the chats
the speed
the lane changes
all of it was to make sure
I was in the exact place that I was
when I was.

Yesterday
I was grateful that I was 100% in the right
and that no one was seriously hurt
and that only the necessary people were involved
and that there were no darker sides of human personalities displayed
and that I have friends who I can call on at a moments notice who can support me in the face of any changes.

Yesterday
I was travelling on the highway at about 80kms
when someone a few cars ahead
chose to attempt a u-turn at a break in the road that is clearly posted no u-turn
due to the the bend in the road and the crest of the hill and the 90km speed limit
and I slowed when I saw their brake lights
and I slammed on my brakes when I saw that they had actually stopped in the right hand lane at this stupidly dangerous place
but then the cars in front started moving again
and were going to move enough for me not to hit them
and then I didn't hit them
but then I looked in my rear vision
and saw the young red p-plate girl who was behind me
who had just been through the same revelations as I had moments before
but will less time as she came upon them closer to the exit of the turn
and with me closer to her than the cars in front were to me
and then she hit me
and I remember being flung forward
and back
and forward
and still seeing that I wasn't going to hit anyone
and looking up at her in my rear
and seeing her car skid to the left into part of the other lane
and seeing behind her that no one was going to hit her
and stopping my car
and checking that she was ok
and realising that I was ok
and moving the cars off the road
and thanking God that no one was hurt
and because it could have been so much worse
in the blink of an eye
with the smallest change in choices
but it wasn't
and for that I am grateful.

Yesterday
with a change of 30 seconds
someone could have been seriously injured
or they could have died
of the whole thing might never have happened
but then I wouldn't have learnt the lessons
of yesterday.

Not all lessons are that dramatic
but our todays and yesterdays are filled with them
and they are all available for us to learn from
and I am so grateful that I am reminded of that
as I have been reminded so many times before
which are all currently at the forefront of my mind
powerfully
but with the knowledge that God is in control
and is looking after me.