Monday, September 21, 2009

Wide Berth

Ok, so this picture is me at the minute:

I've got a few things going on that have forced me to look into my past and I'm not at all happy about it.

I'm not having any trouble accepting responsibility for my choices but that is making me pretty angry at myself and I feel like I have been living with my head in the sand and like reality has just hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.

As a result I'm taking a hard line with day to day stuff that is going on around me. Tolerance is one of the first casualties when I am feeling like this but if I'd been a bit more like this in the past then I don't believe I would be feeling so disappointed with myself right now.

Don't get me wrong, I've got a lot of wonderful things in my life and I know that without all of the hard times I've made it through then I wouldn't have the good things that I do now, but I'm still resentful and only have myself to blame for talking tough while actually being a push-over.

Sheesh, I must be a nightmare to live with but, fair warning - it's probably best to give me a wide berth at the moment!


angela said...

Dont be too hard on yourself. Its easy to look back with 20/20 vision and judge ourselfs. You were you then and now you are you. You have grown and changed, dont judge the old you, she made the best decisions she could at the time.
Is this making any sense.

Wendy said...

Yes, Angela, thanks. Part of the problem though is that allowed myself to compromise who I am so was less than who I really am for a long time. Its a hard road to reclaim yourself but hopefully I am making progress. I appreciate your supportive comments ♥

mrsb said...

It's never to late to "find yourself". Good luck on your journey!

Captain Dumbass said...

We're on opposite ends of a really big ocean so I feel safe. Let the bitch out. Better out than in.

Rob-bear said...

The things I did not know at first,
I learned by doin' twice.

--Billy Joel,"The Entertainer."

None of us knows everything at the start; we just have to keep learning. But damning ourselves for what we didn't know is a terrible way to live. At least, that's what I think. The goal is to do the best we can with what we know at the moment.

Hippy Witch said...

I read this on a newsletter I received, it seems very fitting for your post.

Life must always be lived forward, but understanding of what we lived comes from looking backward.

Honour your lessons Wendy