Will Be

When was that simple time?

A time I have never known;
and one which I will
never know again.

I never knew
how things were meant to be
and in that absence of vision
my present was formed.

How can I keep doing this?

Nothing is.

Nothing was.

And nothing ever will be.

I Have

How did I go
from the me I was a few days ago
to the me I am today?

Such a short distance
in time
but as far from one another
as the sun is from Pluto.

How?

Why?

Can I get back on the path I was on?

Do I even want to?

What other options do I have?

Still Okay

So today you saw a glimpse
of the fragility
that is the surface
of my existance
and you didn't run screaming from the room
as I wanted to
at feeling so exposed.

So today you saw a glimpse
of the reality I face
and even though it was just a fraction of my thoughts
and how they affect me
you could still see how deeply these waters run
and you didn't show the replusion
that I feel
at being me every day.

So today you saw a glimpse
of how I view the world
and the tears that fall
a million times
on the inside
of whoever it is I am
and you came to me
and you help me
and you made me feel loved
and supported and understood
rather than turning your back on me
and my pain
like so many of the people
I have loved
have done.

So today you saw a glimpse
of me
and I hated it
but I am grateful
that you were there
for me to open up to
in more than the many words
that we have shared before
and it made me scared
but it was still okay.

Miss Me

I miss you.

I miss not having you in my life.

I miss not the faded memories
of the time
when we knew each other
and when we didn't think
anything of being together
because it was our lives
at the time.

I miss those days.

I miss those nights.

I miss the troubles of then
which are nothing
to the troubles of now.

I miss you.

I miss me.