Friday, April 24, 2009

Home and Hosed

Well, I have survived the first big challenge today - just!

My children are monsters. Correction, two of my children are monsters and the other one is the only one left in my will.

I had to get petrol on the way to the supermarket and was ready to turn around and go home by that stage already. All I heard was whinging, whining, bickering, pushing, pinching, punching, pulling, complaining and fighting. My children were climbing onto shelves and cabinets, putting things I didn't want into the trolley and taking things I did want out of the trolley, grabbing random shoppers by their clothes, running away, pushing the trolley into me and each other as I tried to load the groceries onto the conveyor belt and still doing all of the afore mentioned acts from whinging to fighting.

By the end of the shop I was ready to burst into tears. Taking all three of them to the shops is something I try to avoid at the best of times but The Starchild has been working so much and is exhausted when he gets home so I kept putting it off. I seriously don't know how people with four or more do it at all. I'm really going to have to prioritise better in the future!

Now, just the play date and I'm home and hosed!

Almost There

Could this really be the last day of the school holidays? I only have one grocery shop and one play date to get through and I get to throw my hands into the air and do the 'I survived school holidays' victory dance. Of course, there's still the weekend, but that's normal chaos, not extra chaos, so I'm not counting that bit.

Congratulations to all of those who are preparing to enjoy similar celebrations - we're almost there, folks!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Live and Learn

My nine year old son sometimes empties the kitchen bins for me when I ask. He is usually chatty and content throughout this task and I am as grateful for his pleasant attitude as I am for the physical help. My step-son used to empty the bins when asked but always begrudgingly so I think about how much of the differences between the two are due to the individuals themselves and how much are due to the treatment and reactions of those around them. It is true that I am a much different person that I was ten years ago - aren't we all? So, now, I make a point of telling my son with all sincerity how much I appreciate his help; I'm sure I used to say thank you to my step-son when he helped but I'm also sure that in my heart I was hurt and angry at his attitude so perhaps my words reflected my feelings more than I realised at the time.

We can't change the past, but we can learn from it, I guess.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Doing OK Considering

And now to blog about the unblogworthy events of the last week.

The widdies have been on school holidays, reminding me yet again why I preferred being a working Mum. Have also had a few extra's - The Starchild's daughter, Virgo Nurse, was here on Easter Friday until Easter Sunday, bringing Bones with her, who is her half-brother...this is getting cofusing, so perhaps a proper explaination is in order.

The Starchild and I first started going out in July 1993 - the 4th of July, ironically. He was about six months out of a five year relationship, from which there was one child (here referred to as Bones) who was almost three at the time. He also had custody of his two other children from a previous relationship, his daughter who was eight when I met her (who I call Virgo Nurse here) and his son, who was five (who is the nine live cat with clipped wings in blogland). What was a smart, 18 year old uni student doign with this guy? Yes, well, I've asked myself that very same question over the years, but I do truly believe it was where I was meant to be.

The older two lived with us in Sydney until the nine live cat with clipped wings flew the coup at 16. Virgo Nurse stayed around for a while longer but found her own independance after a time. The Starchild and I had two children in Sydney, Kman, now 10, and the impossible princess, now 7 and we bought a house in Newcastle in 2004, moving permanently in January of 2005. We added another child to the clan up here, the smiley monster, now 3.

We'd had access to bones, who lived down in Nowra and when we were in Sydney for about a year and a half, maybe two years, but it was also fraught with problems and ended in his mother taking him, moving and breaking all contact. Some forteen years later, through the wonders of Facebook, we have been reunited with bones, now a man at 18, studing law and with very clear goals and plans for his future. We were heartbroken to find that his mother ended up in gaol about two years after we last saw him and that he and his two younger sisters were brought up by his maternal grandmother, as had we known we would have been able to have contact with him again and perhaps consider applying for custody. But, the main thing is that he has turned out wonderfully and everyone is looking at the future, not the past.

So, there's the overview of the situation, albeit sans most of the sordid details. Not a great tale and rather a lengthy way of saying Bones stayed with us for eight days from Easter Friday, which was the second contact we had had in two weeks after not having seen or heard from him in 14 years.

I guess that is related to why I haven't been active in blogland, partially because of the extra housework and social demands with three extra people hanging around of a day, but also because I have been trying to get my head around all of this.

There are some other unrelated aspects of me that I am taking a good, hard, honest look at and, quite frankly, I don't like what I see. I've been pondering self-sabotage, addiction, fear, maintenance and consistency and know that change is required. It is probably a good time for this with Samhain approaching here in the southern hemisphere with retrospection, honouring the past and endings being the focus. I've also had a cold for the last week and a bit, and that does nothing to improve one's state of mind, and trying to get quarterly BAS stuff sorted, so generally feel like I'm battling hard to ward off overwhelm, but doing ok considering.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Reason #299 As To Why I Need A Maid

...so I can get some spare time to blog!

Don't worry, folks - all's well in the land of Wendy Logic. Busy doing all sorts of nothing much worth blogging about but starting to get back on top of things now.

Will post more perhaps on the morrow.
Blessings to you all!
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