Saturday, February 7, 2009

Breaking News

Just in case no one else has realised it, I thought I would post something incredible important here today to enlighten you all: IT'S VERY, VERY HOT!!!!!

Have done most of the covering of the school books this morning for the widdies. Still have the diaries and the books that are still at school to do, but mostly all done. Just need to do the labels and then this lot is right to go back on Monday. Yippie!

Going to Sydney this arvo. Dinner for my birthday at Centrepoint Tower. Staying with the Virgo Nurse's tonight (she's looking after the widdies while The Starchild and I are at dinner) and visiting the nine live cat with clipped wings tomorrow. Got a letter from him last night. Sounds happy and is always happy on the visits.

That's all, folks.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Magic Sleep Dust

When there's stuff that you don't know is real or not, I guess we each apply what we know from our observations (including what we have observed in some fashion from others) against our belief systems, or what seems to make sense with our concept of what is plausible in our reality. On this basis, I'm kinda thinking that there may well be such a thing as magic sleep dust.

Ok, it doesn't have to be an actual dust, but just something that travels through the air like dust does. It could really be any type of energy or signal, from radio frequency to telepathy, I don't know and that's not the point I'm trying to make. What it really is is for scientists to explain but how it affects the world, well, I figure anyone can have a shot at that one.

It all starts with the yawn - or 'the yawning game' as my mother used to call it. I'm sure you've all noticed it when someone else yawns and you just can't help but yawn yourself, even if you're not tired at all. Sometimes you can conceal it by clamping your jaw shut but your eyes will still try to water as you force them open against their desire to squint shut and your ears and the back of your throat will most likely do that zoning out thing that happens in a full on yawn. Hey, I'm doing it now just thinking about it.

Another example is a little more scary. It's when your driving and you have other people in the car and they fall asleep. Even if your not tired you seem to find yourself starting to exhibit tired signs - yawning, restlessness and the increased likelihood of micro-sleeps (yep, I'm a bit of a Dr K fan).

But, in all this, the thing that I find the most convincing of the existence of magic sleep dust is the child care centre. For anyone else who has spent so much time trying to get their own kiddie winks off to sleep only to be told that they sleep really well in child care centres, I'm sure this one will resonate with you, too. I mean, how else can you explain how a whole bunch of kids aged six weeks to five years whose focus at any other time of the day is to play, play, play, will all of a sudden, on mass, lay down and in a relatively short amount of time find themselves off in the land of nod? I'm telling you, it has to be proof of magic sleep dust and if that doesn't convince you then I don't know what will.

And, how good would it be if you could bottle this stuff? You'd be richer than Bill Gates and twice as popular (ok, that second part is not such an accomplishment, but you know what I mean).

But, it seems that magic sleep dust is some intangible, the understanding of which is locked away in some part of the 90% of our brains that we don't use (and, before you click the comment button in response to this, yes, I know it is not true that human beings only use 10% of our brains). The point is, we don't know how lots of stuff works but we can still observe its affects and know it to exist. I think magic sleep dust falls into this category. One day we may understand it better but for now, particularly at this time of night, I simply think that I'd just better go and get me some of that stuff.

Good night, everyone. I'll leave you with this to help you all on your way:

Train whistle blowin', makes a sleepy noise
Underneath their blankets go all the girls and boys

Rockin', Rollin', Ridin', out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown, many miles a-way

Driver at the engine, Fireman rings the bell
Sandman swings the lantern to say that all is well
Rockin', Rollin', Ridin', out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown, many miles a-way

Maybe it is raining where our train will ride
All the little trave'lers are warm and snug in-side
Rockin', Rollin', Ridin', out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown, many miles a-way

Somewhere there is sunshine, somewhere there is day
Somewhere there is Morningtown, many miles a-way
Rockin', Rollin', Ridin', out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown, many miles a-way

All bound for Morningtown, many miles a-way

Words and Music by Malvina Reynolds
Performed by The Seekers (1966)

Another Sign

I'm sorting through my filing cabinet today and throwing out a lot stuff that I should never have kept in the first place. It's so tedious wading through it all because I do need to keep lots of it as well. I can't believe we have had so many different mortgages and stuff related to earnings and tax. I guess it's another sign of the passing years.

Too Many Thoughts and Too Much Time On My Hands So No Reason Not To Blog Them All

*** Self-Indulgence Warning: This post is long and mostly very boring but I just felt like waffling on so apologies in advance and permission to end your reading here is unconditionally granted ***

Vivid dreams last night. The Starchild was looking at houses, as he likes to do, and he was showing me one house with a very cool swimming pool. He went on to explain that he had put the swimming pool together himself from a kit, only the kit was about 40cm x 30cm x 4cm but the swimming pool was a full sized swimming pool. He showed me the packet for the kit and it was like a modular panel thing. Needless to say I was very impressed. He then showed me an even bigger pool that he had done. It was just a backyard pool but it was about 25m long with four lanes then a wider section for free swimming and then an adjoined spa and a long bath. This pool was set on like a precipice so it had an amazing view from in the actual pool but it was just a view of suburbia as it was 'just a backyard pool'. I remember thinking how amazing it would be but how we needed to consider whether it would be safe enough for the kids.

It was at this second pool that I realised that I had my tongue pierced. I was vaguely aware in all parts of this dream that it was a dream but it was a dream that I was happy to go along with. I'm fairly squeamish about most piercings but particularly the tongue considering all of the problems and pain in can cause in the first week or so as the body protests what has been done to it but in the dream my tongue piercing was very clean with no redness or swelling and I was amazed to find there was no pain. I knew it was recent but I didn't remember getting it done and the back of the tongue ring (which was more like just a really long, straight earring) kept coming off. There was someone else there and I don't know who they were I but I seemed to know them at an acquaintance level in the dream and she reminded me of a girl I have seen working at a chemist somewhere in real life I think. I was showing her how the back of the ring kept coming off and I was intrigued by how cool and un-icky the entry hole in my tongue looked and how easily the ring went through, but the back just wouldn't stay on. Then the impossible princess was there and was trying to have a look as well and then my alarm went off in the real word and for some reason I thought it had already gone off a couple of times but I'd snoozed it and there was a voice that said something about that I'd better get up now or I'd just keep snoozing the alarm only and wouldn't do something (I can't remember the something that he said but there was a definite reason) only it wasn't in those words.

For the last two nights I have been aware of swirling energy around me. I have always spooked myself really easily and sometimes I don't like to turn off the lights downstairs, even though we always leave the light on in the stairwell, but for the last two nights I have only been aware of the fear in my head, in word form, and I don't actually feel the fear. I'm not sure what that means.

In other news, I'm a whisker away from no longer being obese. The Starchild gets a little upset when I refer to myself as obese as he says I am not actually obese and I don't really think that I am either but that is the range that my current body mass index falls into. I've always considered myself overweight and I know that approaching my mid-thirties and after having three kids and not having a good diet or regular exercise routine my whole life that the longer I continue on this way the harder it gets to reverse what I have been doing to myself. I lost 10kg over about 2 months last year but had regained 6kg by the end of the year. I started again at the beginning of this year and have lost 4.2kg, which is actually 3 weeks of losing weight and 2 weeks of gaining weight so far and I know this isn't ideal but I'm working on it and that's a good thing.

In many areas of my life I am seeking consistent application of the things that I know I need to do and this is definitely one of them. I keep reminding myself that habits are just repeated actions and when I get to the point that I am repeating more of the desirable actions each day (which in the area of my body is things such as exercising, drinking a minimum of 2lts of water and eating appropriately nutritious foods) and less of the undesirable actions (like eating chocolate and junk food, not getting enough sleep and not being active) then I will be a person with good habits.

Overall I am feeling really positive about how things are going. The Starchild and I had a talk last night (the one we were planning on having about a week ago) and it turned out being this big pep talk. One of the things I said was about how we know the things that make us happy that we should be investing in and we know the things that are causing problems and there are immediate changes we can make to start to help alleviate them but because we are so tired or so caught up in everything we just don't seem to make the changes we know we need to, but at the minute I feel like we are making progress. I wouldn't have chosen not to have a "real job" but I am so happy about so many things that this is bringing into our lives and these are the things that were big problems for us previously. I keep making a point of saying things like "it was so good to get the kids to swimming without having to growl at them because we're so rushed" and "I'm so happy that all of the washing has been up to date all year!!!". Anyway, The Starchild is still in a bit of a rut about it all, which I can understand but I am working on maintaining consistency and continued improvement in our lives and because of the things that I have been doing recently I really feel the positive potential is being realised. I know I will still have days where I don't feel this and I guess I will just think of them as a bad day, but I know that if each day I take even just one little action, be it working through my daily To Do list, or making a phone call, or researching something, or getting even just one niggling job done that I've been wanting to do for ages, then at the end of the week I will have done a minimum of seven positive things and if I look at it that way then it's very easy to keep the positive momentum going.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Know Thyself

As sleep again runs fleeting from my reality, I am left to wander cyberspace and ponder. And, having pondered, now I blog. And, as I blog, the words 'know thyself' are crashing around inside my head like marbles in a blender. Perhaps the similarities there are too many than I'd care to admit.

For most of us, we pass through many phases on our journey but the constant desire on some level in all of the malleable motions and milestones is to know thyself. And, true to the natural laws allowing nothing to remain constant except change itself, the meaning and application of this phrase will also change, adapting itself and our unrelenting line of questioning - sometimes of others and sometimes of ourself - with various interpretations of one word, then the other, then both as an intrinsic partnership that neither God nor man can separate.

In these simple two words the antiquated phrase lives and breathes and in them we can ponder greater mysteries than our navels will ever provide. The level of meaning in a word such as know, and just whom is this unimaginable and incomprehensible thy that couples with the self - is it personal, collective or divine? Is it another attempt at mankind trying to define our entire existence so reminisce of the holy trinity that it makes your hair follicles stand on end and incites some crazy notion to use the word follicles two times in the one sentence.

And, somewhere in the void, we aspire to attain the level of comfort that we know with every fibre of our being that knowing thyself will deliver. So, we look within, and it's not there. So we look without and we're just not sure what to make of all that either. At worst case we find false prophets and at best case we spend too much of our precious time looking under rugs and behind couch cushions but, alas, to no avail. Then we look inwards again and so the cycle continues, sometimes catching glimpses that we rationalise into beliving were just some crazy sun-phobic albino with an umbrella in a crowd.

But unless we move on, then, quite simply, we do not move on. If we keep seeking the destination and place all of our value in one specific and measurable outcome, then we are wasting our time. And wasting our lives. And denying the joy that we deserve and the opportunity to revel in pure and unadulterated silliness as and when required, when demanded and when unexpected alike.

So, my wish right now is that knowing thyself with walk in, out, around, under, above, through and beyond all things mundane with which we coexist, so that moments of revelation will produce sheer delight that we can enjoy for the moment and allow to pass with the comfort not in the desire that they will return with the ultimate question to the ultimate answer of life, the universe and everything, but with the knowledge simply that they will return and and that they will deliver a never diminishing serving of that same joy if only we are open to this happening. Derive self confidence not from knowing thyself as a destination but in merely knowing that we are seeking and are acknowledging and are enjoying our findings on the way.

Like a Rabbit in a Spotlight

I re-discovered the joys of Spotlight today. Haven't been for ever so long so I took a trip out to the Rutherford store this morning, which is only 15 or so minutes away, well would be if I didn't turn off too early and add a few more minutes to the trip - and I think I'm going to run a logistics company! Picked up a new quilt cover that was almost half the original price. I don't think I've ever had such a nice quilt cover. I hope it looks nice on the bed, but I might have to put it away for my birthday just so I do actually get a present this year as The Starchild is getting increasingly slack in that department these days.

The main reason I went out to Spotlight was to pick up the supplies for my dedication gifts. I have had the idea of what I wanted to do for some time but wasn't sure exactly what materials to use. Funnily enough the solitaire project provided me with part of the answer (and no, it wasn't plastic spoons - it's ok to mention that as the cat is already out of the bag on that one, right?). I'm very excited and now a bit nervous. I really hope it works out otherwise I'm running out of time to come up with a Plan B. Wish me luck!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Happy Fish

I have a clean fish tank - yippie! Here are my happy fish:

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I Know I Can

Sisterhood day was absolutely wonderful. Haven't really had such Elf leadership since the first part of the YAAD course so it was most enjoyable and excellent particularly with the focus of the days activities. And the bodacious and sagacious gracious one was an absolute trooper, despite having her own immense discomfort she was so focused on making sure our experiences were as wonderful as possible - which they absolutely were! And Diana's input and herbs as well were awesome - sorry again for holding you up just because I left my selection to the last possible minute. You were so lovely and patient and it was so hot and I'm sure you just wanted to get home but I really appreciate it. And to my wonderful sisters, it is fantastic being part of this community and I value the time we all invest growing and experiencing together. I am grateful for everyone that is part of my journey each and every day but all of my friends through the cottage are hugely important to me and I appreciate each and every one of you.

So, hmmmm, the solitaire project, what can I say? Well, let me just start by telling everyone what was in my little package...




Tee hee hee - as if I'd dare! Actually, I haven't even opened it yet. When I got home I was descended upon by three hot little children who had been promised a swim so I had to suffer by jumping in the pool with them. The water was the warmest I have ever felt it and I have officially broken my record in that in the last 14 and a half years of owning a pool, I have now been in it three times in one year - and it's only the start of February. Yes, I'm not usually one for swimming, particularly with boisterous children as I find that all a bit too much, but it has been wonderful. And the smiley monster has suddenly turned the corner and is now swimming about 2 metres by himself and even jumping in. He's just amazing. The other two are also so funny and when all five of us are in there as a family it is such good entertainment but also memory-making stuff, which I really cherish.

Stayed for both movies at the drive-ins last night. The weather was fantastic, I was wrapping in a blanket but the breeze was just beautiful and I saw five shooting stars - one for each of us. There were so many cars there, too and it was a really good night.

Have a boring but necessary To Do list tomorrow. Looking forward to increasing motivation and productivity coz I very much need it.

Happy Birthday, Deb!

Wasn't able to make it to the witches kitchen but thinking of Deb and hoping a good time was had by all.