Reason #483 As To Why I Need A Maid

Well, it's no surprise that the vacuuming didn't get done until today, but what an excellent effort was made when I finally did it. I must have been going for two hours solid. I even vacuumed the front porch and the outside of the front door screen and all of the cournices in the house.

One of the thoughts that I often ponder, particularly on two hour vacumming benders, is about the poor little spiders (Jac, if you're reading this, you may want to stop here and read no further). We have a lot of Daddy Long Legs here, rarely found upstairs, but oh, how they love the cornices downstairs. I don't like to spray them for many reasons, none the least being that they tend to stay there as a constant reminder of my crimes. My solution is generally to vacuum them up.

But, when doing this, I often wonder how this seems to the spiders themselves. I do like to think that they find the trip through the ducted vacuuming system something like a roller coaster ride at the spider equivalent of a theme park.

A somewhat less comforting thought is that they do, in fact, meet their makers through a quick and painless demise.

A significantly more disconcerting thought is that they survive the ordeal, shaken and rather pissed and that they are gathering numbers in the vacuum chamber ready to decend upon the sorry bastards who forcefully removed them from their peaceful existence and that they will lie in wait until they are ready to extract an evil but thoroughly deserved revenge on the perpetrator - namely, me!

This is why I am clearly not suited to tasks that occupy my body but not my mind and why I should do my best to avoid housework of any kind. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Que Shiraz Shiraz

Just so you know, I am sitting at the dining table with three little munchkins - two owned and one borrowed - and another at the bench, as they eat ice cream and I contemplate whether I find folding two loads of washing or doing the vacuumming more appealing. Hmmm, tough choice - I choose the red.

Cheers, big ears!

Day of Procrastination

Enjoying the sunshine as the days cool. Much to do; much to do!

Virgo Nurse and Bones coming up tomorrow - and such a mess everywhere I look, hence the very dark glasses I am currently wearing to dim my view. Virgo Nurse will only be up for a day or so but Bones will likely be here longer, although the duration is like bistro maths and something that cannot be determined by those in their late teens - apparently this indecisiveness is to do with hormones or some such bunk.

The impossible princesses birthday on Saturday - turning 7 buy just passing 17 one would think. Bowling party followed by visit from the outlaws in the late afternoon/evening. Will be lovely to have the house filled with family.

Likely to do church on Sunday; meant to do football in Sydney on Monday but that is far less likely.

Spoke to Odin last night; good and not good. We are planning a holiday in Queensland so the logical thing is to stop in on the way up and/or back. OK by Odin but unfortunately as we have three kids that we have the audacity to holiday with, this is not acceptable to Chaos&Control. I did remind him that he had killed people (yes, unfortunately that is a literal statement) and asked him where the fuck his balls were, to which he replied he lost them 22 years ago. He then went on to lament about the marvellous freedom he was granted until the age of 41, which he had selfishly abused (his thoughts, not mine) and how difficult a transition it was for him to adjust to his current arrangements. Well, when you make your bed (or the bed of someone else, as the case may be), you do have to lie in it. Stupidly I still see the honour in standing by his mistakes, but that's just me, I guess.

Well, ranting more than I care to reminds me that I shouldn't really be doing this now, even though I have labelled this my Day of Procrastination, as I have been so successful at little else thus far. But, off to other distractions I must go now - fare thee well, merry bloglanders!

Queen of Cupcakes

Queen of Cupcakes, I am. Better than sending cake to school for the impossible princesses birthday, they say - easier and less messy. For THEM, I am sure, for me, well, um...yeah, nah. Lovely looking cupcakes they are though and a proud and dutiful mother am I for sure.

Ended up with a terrible headache today, to the point where I was feeling woozy and nauseous but after some ibuprofen (which is a word that I have immeasurable difficulties pronouncing for some reason as it keeps wanting to come out ibrupofen on the basis that a misplaced r between friends will not affect the longevity of the relationship) I was fighting fit and ready to forget that I had to make cup cakes until it was safely past my bedtime and therefore at the point which I could commence without fear that I would be finished before midnight.

AND - if anyone can make sense of that last paragraph then you must also be up way past your bedtime so I will tuck you in and give you a kiss on the forehead now before we conspire to commit any further literary atrocities together.

Nitey-nite!

But I Don't Even Work From Nine To Five

"Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
And yawn and stretch and try to come to life"

~ from '9 to 5' by Dolly Parton

Nine hours of comfortable and uninterrupted sleep last night and I still feel like a walking zombie. I'm also struggling with motivation but that seems to be part of the status quo these days.

*yawn*

Can't think about it too much, it's making me sleepy....

Home and Broken Hearted

Y'know how some days you wake up and just have a song in your head? It happens to me a fair bit; I thinks it's because I taught the voices in my head to sing so their incessant chatter wouldn't keep driving me insane.

Anyway, today's song for me is Home and Broken Hearted by Cold Chisel. This is not one of their more well known songs and Jimmy sings the lyrics quite fast so unless you know them it's hard to work them out just by hearing them. I like the way the way the words all jumble and roll together on individual notes in the song with the rocking guitar and piano. It's not that I'm actually feeling like the lyrics today, it's just in my head.

Here's the full lyrics, originally written by Don Walker:

Hiked up to Sydney in the week before Christmas
It was thirty-eight degrees in the shade
Bought a second-hand Morris for a cheap two-twenty
And drove it down to Adelaide
She boiled for an hour twenty miles out of Euston
I thought the heat would never end
But I knew I'd be home for Christmas with my Sandy
And a few extra dollars to spend

I drove it to the buyer just as fast as I could go
I was talking to his teenage son
I sure hope it lasted for the poor little bastard
At least until he'd had some fun
I caught a taxi homeward with great anticipation
Thinkin' all you have to do is try
There was a note propped up against the dressing table mirror
"Dear Jimmy, it's over, goodbye!"
Home and broken hearted
I've been pasted to the telephone
Boxing Day break was wasted sitting home on my own
The beer we bought for Christmas ran dry this afternoon
And on the radio it's New Year's Eve
What a low down time of the year to pack your luggage and leave

Went to a party, tried to drink myself happy
The steaks were washed away in the rain
Finished up in bed with an old acquaintance
She'll never be my friend again
And everyone was asking me where's the little woman
Rolled home before the rain could stop
I've been sitting for days reading pre-Christmas papers
With my heels on the table-top

Wendy's Wordle

Revisited Lisa's online Wordle suggestion tonight and have created this from some random words:



Try it for yourself - it's loads of fun!