Sunday, November 22, 2009

Now Wouldn't It?

I try to be open to messages and signs, even though it's one thing to notice them and another thing entirely to work out exactly what you are meant to do with them and when!

Something that has come up for me about half a dozen times in the last week is the concept of turning off your mind in order to open your heart. It's the old struggle between my logical brain and my intuition and is something that I think a lot of people can relate to.

This resurfaced for me most recently when I was praying with the worship team at my church before our service. We usually practice then pray together and then we enter into worship to start off the service. Not everyone in the worship team chooses to speak out loud each week when we have the pre-service prayer time but I have felt a strong urge over the last few months to make sure I say something and it was this message that was on my heart last Sunday. I felt very clearly the need to just switch off my ever-insistent brain and allow the spirit of God to move in my heart so that was what I lead my prayer with. Unfortunately last Sunday for me felt like I was putting myself out there much further than I wanted to and what I actually felt and experienced was a retraction rather than an expansion but this same message has come up over and over again since then. I went through a really emotional day last Sunday as a result and spent a lot of time in prayer which ended around midnight with an immense peace in my heart. I was praying for a very specific outcome and, as usual, the universe knows better and will usually deliver what you need rather than what you want. When I realised that I laughed out loud and my prayers of request turned into prayers of thanks and gratitude. It was a good place to be. I am still praying for the specific outcome but I am not filled with the same angst and grief that were the companions to my self-doubt last weekend.

So, I am taking note and just need to know how I can apply the off-brain/on-intuition message. I guess if all of the lessons of life were clear and easy to learn it would take all of the fun out of it, now wouldn't it?