Friday, December 4, 2009

My Own Advice

I haven't decided if trying to do all of the things that I'd like to do each day is completely impossible or just damn hard.

Actually, I do know the answer to that little conundrum and lies in managing a realistic daily plan - which includes breaking down larger projects into smaller chunks, overestimating expected duration for each task and planning in down time. Getting those three things right, with a few other basic time management techniques balanced in as well, and it seems like it would be impossible to fail.

Simple, really, isn't it?

So, why on earth do I find it so bloody difficult to follow my own advice?!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

In That World

Saw 'The Invention of Lying' at the movies yesterday with a friend and quite enjoyed it. Ricky Gervais is hilarious and it had a nice storyline as well as an abundance of famous faces amongst the cast, but the thing that I am caught up on is the basic premise. It is set in a world that is identical to our own except that people are genetically hardwired to be unable to lie - they don't even have a word for lying, nor for truth because everything is true and that's all they know because there is nothing to compare it with.

There are, of course, some distinct disadvantages to this, such as not having lies technically means not having fiction therefore all of the movies in that world are about historical events and are just famous people reading out the stories, because acting, if you think about it, is also kind of like lying. BUT, the rest of the world was wonderful. People said the most blunt and potentially offensive things but no one seems to mind because it is really the truth anyway and there is so much less conflict because you always know where you stand.

I want to live in that world.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Puff of Logic

I had a long and very involved dream last night that faded upon waking, as seems to be the case more often than not. It was very frustrating as for both waking and sleeping memories, I usually will at least remember that I have forgotten something so it is like there is a very prominent void in a place in my mind but I am absolutely sure that there was something there before. That's how it felt this morning, like I have a very strong sense of there having been something there but the details were just out of reach.

As is also often the way with all things of this kind, about 2 hours later while going about my business, the details suddenly dropped back into place. Well, some of them did anyway. It was about a friend of mine that I used to work with and I spoke with her at great length. There was stuff about the office where we worked, which I think it starting to take on a very specific role in my subconscious as I have dreamt about it several times now, although I don't quite understand where it fits into the rest of my life, thoughts and feelings.

Something that I do remember quite clearly from the dream was walking up a street that I used to walk up from time to time when I was much younger. I never had a particular event happen to me on that route. It was what passed for a main road in the suburb that I grew up in although it was just one lane either way. At the far end was the main shops of the town, such as they were, and the train station and it went for a few kilometres up to the highway, which is one of the main highways in the area, six lanes for most parts. About five minutes walk from where the road met the highway was the house I grew up in.

So, in the dream it was night time and I had been somewhere and was heading home. I was at the end of the shops so it was normal residential houses for the most part. I really wanted to get home but I didn't have a car but then I laid this light briefcase thing I was carrying on the ground, unfolded it like a tent and it self-inflated into a car, which just so happened to be my old Suzuki Sierra that was the second car I ever owned and had some 10 or 12 or maybe it was 14 years ago. I remember thinking about the advances in technology that were required for such a thing to be possible and for a fleeting moment I gave thought to how the thing could have an engine when it had been in a light bag I was carrying but then it was all inflated and I got in. I don't remember if it drove or not but I have a vague feeling it may have just disappeared in a puff of logic.

In Another Life

The Christmas tree is up and decorated, the house is delightfully lighted and the Christmas cards have been written. The Christmas shopping has been started and, even though I know I'm sure I will still be racing around madly trying to get the last things finalised on Christmas eve, I'm feeling pretty bloody organised and ready for Christmas for once in my life.

We went to Lithgow on Saturday to see the nine live cat with clipped wings, then lunch with Virgo Nurse, then home and finishing the aforementioned Christmas decorating. Church on Sunday morning was bitter-sweet. I'd been praying for guidance since my huge attack of self doubt two weeks ago and I feel my prayers were actually answered but, at the same time, I was given a bit of a kick up the arse for being so narrowly focused, which is not really typical of me and while it was humbling it was still good to be given a nudge back on track.

We had a really bad rehearsal before service and didn't even get to play through all of the songs we were doing. We didn't have any of the regular people on the sound desk and it is a new system so it hasn't even really been worked out by the people who are normally there. The drummer ended up helping with the desk so we had a different drummer who is good but who hadn't played a full kit for many years (remembering that we didn't get to go through all of the songs). Then one of the team didn't arrive until 20 minutes before start, brought her accoustic guitar when she was rostered for bass and revealed that she didn't have the music for two of the songs and that she didn't even know one of those two at all. Also, our best musician was off and our lead is good and has a wonderful heart for worship but is not really very strong in terms of keeping things on track when it needs to be done forcefully. As a result of all of this, she totally lost her confidence, dove straight into the music without getting the congregation prepared, stopped prompting and guiding the songs, playing wrong notes on the keyboard and running the wrong timings so we ended up completely butchering the first song and only getting marginally better in the other three.

From my point of view, I really love all of the songs we did and they suit my voice and range so I was singing better than my normal average self, which our lead said was the only saving grace of the whole worship. Unfortunately, this only made me feel worse because I knew that I'd sung well and was comfortable that God had been working with my prayers so didn't need the reassurance as I had the two weeks previous but I knew exactly how bad our lead felt as I had been in that state of mind when I had the self-doubt stuff happening. And I believe it was worse for her as she was leading, even though the mistakes she made were only as a result of everything else going wrong. We had a really good talk afterward though, even though it was just the two of us and it really should have been something laid before the whole worship team as it is something we need to all work together on in order to improve on. It was this whole team thing that I felt bad about but it did give me a burst of renewed passion and dedication for my purpose and what I have to contribute.

Sunday afternoon was good but uneventful. Local kids over playing with our kids. Late dip in the pool before dinner then food, showers and bed.

Monday I went for a horse ride. My inexperience is not very helpful with Pheobe, the horse I ride, and she was the most stubborn to start off with that she has been so far but once we worked through that, we had the best solo ride that we have had so far. Here's a picture of Pheobe - lovely, isn't she!

Last night The Smiley Monster was complaining of a sore tummy and ended up being up most of the night as a result. I kept him home with me today so didn't get much done. Am going to be up at the school tomorrow morning, then straight to a friends place for a cuppa then we are going to catch a movie, then straight back to pick the kids up from school, then swimming lessons, then dinner then out for ritual at the Cottage where I'm assisting Ix-chell, who is going to be High Priestess for the evening. She has written a very lovely ritual and I'm really looking forward to spending some time in circle.

Well, as much as I seem to avoid it sometimes, I really must take myself off to bed. Going to need a V or three to get through the day tomorrow for sure - I wish I could sleep all day and just do stuff at night, my brain is so much more active and seems to work better then. Oh, well, perhaps I'll be a vampire again in another life ;-P