Saturday, January 9, 2010

Told Me So

Oh, my! A dip in the pool was just what I needed. I am the epitome of the parent with pool who never goes in it but today was just heaven. I am such a woose when it comes to getting into the water and really don't like the whole getting climbed on, splashed by and deafened by wet widdies but with the Smiley Monster already being such an clever little swim boy, even for just four years and 26 days old, it was actually quite enjoyable. Of course, the K-man and the impossible princess are fine to swim without the climbing thing, but it seems to be a past-time they are loath to outgrow and the splashing thing is inevitable, I still felt like it was an absolute treat to be floating in the glorious salt-flavoured water, suspended gently by a turquoise pool noodle, just for half an hour or so while my body temperature dropped and I finally felt like I could start working on the outside chores.

So, once suitably saturated and satiated, I spent a few minutes in repose giving thanks for the cushioned pool furniture donated by our last neighbours prior to their move into a active retirement complex near Taree and for all that my current lifestyle has to give thanks for (which is great in my heart, if not in that of my bank managers) then off to feed and water my feathered, finned and four-legged outdoor companions.

Once that was done, all that was left was to grab a chardy and my current read (Ben Elton's Meltdown, which I am finding surprisingly less enjoyable than I expected but still a comfortable discourse) and sit by the pool passing a few leisurely hours until it was time to move on to the next and somewhat loathed phase of shower, jammie and dinner time. A quick text to the the recently relocated tea lady and on to bigger, better and bolder things.

The Starchild is still a few hours away. I am strangely hungry for Chinese take-away, but Newcastle, being the dinning Mecca that it is, and Thornton even more so, I have been unable to locate a suitable establishment willing to bring said delicacies to my door. So, pasta for the kids and scrambled eggs for me, it seems, without grudge nor grumble, I am happy and I am loved. Jen's text message told me so - MWAH!

Happening Today

The Starchild is helping my best friend move to Mudgee. Sad, I am.

Have been having a party pie and atomic tomato chip day with the kids watching their DVDs. Started with Ice Age 3, then Halloweentown, now Bob's Big Break from Monsters Vs. Aliens but I couldn't be bothered with the 3D glasses as I am wearing my own glasses and it's too hot.

Feeling like a dip in the pool.

Thinking about all of the things I *should* be doing.

The house is pretty tidy but there is always stuff to do. Have two loads of washing to fold, clean and dry dishes to put away, feed animals, maybe a quick vacuum. Not much but can I find any motivation to do anything...NO!

This is my horoscope from fb today

"Although not usually an ambitious person, today ambition seems to be your driving force, Aquarius. You have a goal, target or activity in mind that really is what you want to be about: you have to try your hand at it today, even if you have to make do with limited resources. This is a good day to find out what it would take to turn a hobby or special interest into a business or academic pursuit. Others may undoubtedly be amazed at your determination to do things the way you want to today."

I really can't see any of that happening today =(

A Lot More

Just a few things to mention.

On Tuesday night, I didn't sleep a wink. I went to bed a little after 11, read for a bit and then completely failed to sleep. I gave up around 2.30am and went downstairs to do some business paperwork. I'd had some Cottage stuff whirling round me head but nothing to really keep me awake yet awake I was. I have never had a night like that in mt life before.

In the morning I felt fine - a little crazy but it was fun-crazy and completely in control. I took the kids horseriding. It was so much hard work but it was fantastic. I "napped" for five hours, got up to dinner, then went back to bed a little after ten. Snoozed the 6.07am alarm a couple of times; still trying to catch up today but phone kept ringing so no rest for the wicked it would seem.

Next day was kiddie play time at the pools with friends and a good time was had by all.

Today was nothing day.

Bones is still with us. I'm liking having him here more and more. He's getting the whole see a need, fill a need thing a little more and he is a really nice guy. Smart, funny, social, easy going. He brings a whole new dynamic to the house and I know I am a huge variable from day to day but he just tries to hard to make things amicable and I really quite like having him here in a lot of ways. For one who likes my space so much, this is a really huge thing. He's going late next week, and the K-man is going with him for a few days, then back to go off to camp, but I think I will cope. Maybe. Just.

Caught up with an old school friend on facebook this week. Have now realised the all but one of my best friends throughout my school life has spent serious and meaningful time with a same-sex partner. Funny that the only other one was the one who I ended up in a few precarious situations with in terms of wild, teen-aged experimentation but the rest took it all a step further, some long term acceptance of themselves and their partners. When you think of all the times you sleep in the same bed and get dressed in front of one another at that age, it can be a little confronting but I think I am ok with it. I guess in a way it's like I wish I had've known but I guess they didn't know then either.

But I seem to be catching up with random people a lot this week and am really enjoying it. Apart from that, my best friend is moving to Mudgee. My tarot card for today is Death and I am sad to think that this relates to our best-friend-ship but that has been the main thing that today has been about. Tomorrow she leaves. The Starchild is helping move and I wish I could go with them. We will be in touch and she may be back in 12 months but for now it is an ending and I am bitter-sweet in my thoughts about all of the other many social contacts I have enjoyed recently thinking they are partly filling the void that will be left but it is not really a complete end, just a transformation of how the friendship will interact from here on. I hope that to be the case anyway but will need to forge my own path in the mean time.

I bought a four minute timer for the shower and me, the 20 minute shower minimum Queen, is actually embracing it. I am finding myself racing to get out with as many grains to spare as possible. I don't think it does anything on a grand scale but at least it means that I am living a reasonably temperate lifestyle, which seems to be important to my cards as well.

I am also thinking more about the two sides to my life - or is that three? I have my Christian friends, my Wiccan friends and my all encompassing friends. My Christian friends are the only ones I feel I need to protect from putting themselves in positions of judgement of my other friends but it is my Wiccan friends whom I feel to be more liberated about sharing their beliefs - and mine - in a way that would not settle well with others. I have a birthday coming up and I would like nothing more than a nice get together of all of my friends, trans-religious beliefs, but I am sad that I don't believe that will be possible. I am thinking about this a lot lately and really feeling sad about not being able to outwardly be who I am inwardly. If I avoid labels then it all works well as the concepts seem to gel nicely but the reality is that labels help human beings understand and that is the only way some people can operate. I will need to think on this a lot more.
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