Friday, July 19, 2013

Can do

When I bared my soul
you stood cold.

Did you smile?

Are you that
sadistic?

When I opened my heart
you willingly took
but with resentment
that has festered into blame
because your couldn't bear
to share.

You had to be the centre
you had to be the all
and rather than growing up
and learning about the world
you aimed for the closest target.

I was close
because I was there
but that is not even acknowledged.

You have cut off
those who don't worship you
because just liking you
is not enough.

They must bow down.

They must lift you above all else.

They must rebel
in vehemenent condemnation
without honest and fair representation
of the reality
so that you are seen as perfect
when perhaps you're just sick.

But I am not
the bad guy here.

I made mistakes
but they were honest ones
and the good
was far greater
so why don't you just
acknowledge that?

Giving of yourself
in practical ways
that have an underlying
yet undeniably narcissistic foundation
is not really
giving of yourself at all.

Giving of yourself
is opening up.

Is being vulnerable.

But that is a weakness to you
not a strength.

And you pride yourself
on hating those
who are able to do this.

And you are wrong.

But that doesn't mean
you don't have worth.

It is just a temporary state.

But it is one
that will remain
until you let it go.

You are holding on.

You are keeping it in the present.

I'm sure you hurt
but you have been offered
love
kindness
understanding
empathy
acceptance
yet you are do unwilling
to accept these gifts
and offer them in return.

We all have failings
and my youth
and struggles in the absence of support
have
no doubt
affected you
but can you just stop for a moment?

Can you just take a look around you?

Can you image the alternatives?

Can you see all that was done for you?

You are not asked to repay.

You are not asked to
make the same sacrificies.

You are not
held captive
to an unrepayable debt.

You are just asked
now that you are well beyond the age
and intelligence
and experience
and capabilities
to acknowledge
and to stop
the unfair
active
vehemenent hate
that drives your existence
and affects those
who love you.

But I am on the outer.

I am the stranger.

And there is little
I can do.

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