Have had a very stable last few days, which is great. Have also been exceptionally busy - for some reason I have managed to end up with back to back things from the start of each day until bed time and for the most part I'm really loving it. I still don't think I'm particularly motivated and there are so many things that I am still not getting done but I feel like I am living and am getting a really great balance between my responsibilities to others as well as my responsibilities to myself. Two of my biggest downfalls are my lack of will power and my inconsistency but as these haven't always been part of my personality then I don't see why they really need to be any more and it's time to redress the balance, me thinks.
Something that I am exceptionally happy with at the moment is that I am going horse riding. This is something that I have always loved but as I have gotten older it has become harder and harder to find the time and money. I have a friend who has two horses, one is hers and the other she bought for her son but he has lost interest so they aren't getting ridden as often as she would like. I went out for a ride with her on Saturday and again by myself today and just loved it. Some people are really protective about other people riding their horses but my friend is just so casual about it and is happy for me to take either of her horses out any time using all her gear and everything, even if she is not there. I've been riding a three year old filly who needs a fair bit of regular work but we've gone well together so far, even though I'm not a terribly well experienced rider and she is the youngest and most feisty horse I've ever ridden, but I'm keen on working with her more to get her to be a more settled and obedient ride.
I've also been very acutely aware lately about God working in my life but now my thoughts are starting to turn to what it is I can be doing to return the favour, as it were. There are ways that I want to serve God and I have been incorporating them into my life over the last few years particularly but I'm really starting to doubt that they are the things that God really wants me to be doing any more. I'm positive I am building important skills and experiences that I will need in the future but I am increasingly of the opinion that I need consider doing some things differently. I'm spending a lot of my prayer time of late trying to work towards whatever it is I need to be doing but I think I am still a ways off knowing. For now, I'm good with just acknowledging the amazing power of the divine, living in gratitude as much as possible and being open to my destiny. This is a big thing I guess because I've always had the jury out on whether everyone actually has an important destiny to fulfil. Definitely a time for learning lessons and I have to believe that that is a good thing.