Recovery

This year again proves to be a year of surprises.

I seem to be
finding
more and more ways
to be me.

Ways that have always been
but all of a sudden
become immediate
and I have to do them
in order to feel
like I am
honouring myself.

Today was one of those days.

A thought popped into my head
maybe a week ago
or maybe it was a lifetime ago
one that I have had a
love/hate relationship with
for as long as I can remember;
in hindsight,
perhaps that was because
it was always going to be
and now that it is
it feels so good
so empowering
and so right.

Surely I am overreacting.

Whatever the case
I felt the feeling
then I got the sign
then I took the action
and I am me
and that makes me a force to be reckoned with.

Yes, I am definitely overreacting.

But me I am
and
I am me
and I have been walking around
with a smile
like the cat who got the cream.

I am inwardly
and outwardly
so pleased
about something so common
but the timing is so right
as to make it
so special
for me
and that makes me happy.

But at the same time
it is also so sad
that at such strong time
I am so acutely aware
of friends
who feel
like strength
is a mere echo
of a memory
in the fleeting
hallows
of a struggle
that is more real
than any reality ever known
forever and ever
because it is their reality now
and no-one
can ever underestimate that.

So to my friends,
I have you in my prayers
and in my thoughts
and in my heart.

I love you
just for who you are
and I don't know
how this will
evolve
but
evolve it will
and my positive energy
is at work
and may the strength
I am feeling just for this afternoon
serve to charge
your needs
and be part
of your recovery.