Friday, May 28, 2010

The Only Way

Sliding backwards
or downwards
is often
as subtle a process
as the slow ascent
back up from where you were.

This is me at the moment.

I'm still scared
to look back over my shoulder
and to see that place
where I have been
for longer than I could
really acknowledge.

The presence of that place
seems to nip at my heels
and just as a simple carelessness
like an untied shoelace
can serve to trip me up as I move forward
it can also provide
something for that place at my heels
to grab onto
to sink its teeth into
until it can get a good bight of my flesh
and re-start the process of my dismemberment.

And it may only take
a snag of a stray shoelace
or perhaps only even
a moment of hesitancy
as I glance back over my shoulder
and that monster of a place
may once again become my best friend.

So, I'm doing my best
not to go there
and am taking things
day by day
and taking down the wall
brick by brick
and moving along my path
step by step.

Because that really is the only way.

4 comments:

Natalie said...

*Sigh*
I believe that people who are 'sensitive' / psychic etc. have a certain physiology.
This physiology lends itself to depression for some reason. Is that what you were implying?
It has something to do with the Amygdala part of the brain, apparently.
All things in life happen on a continuum, so, psychic sensitivity is on one end.......depths of emotion / sensitivity on the other.

Downside of a precious gift?

Please disregard me, if I have ballsed this all up. ♥

Wendy said...

Thanks, Nat. No, you haven't ballsed it up. I'm sorting out a lot of things in regards to mental health and how it fits into day to day life, particularly in regards to living in spiritual awareness, and really appreciate your comments ♥

Rob-bear said...

As someone who has long had "the black dog" as a companion (and I'm not talking about Her Ladyship, Miss Sadie), I think I understand something of what you're saying. Which is why I can live life only about half a day at a time, and sometimes not even that.

I find your new picture in the sidebar intriguing, almost scary.

Wendy said...

Ummm, thanks, a bit, I think, Rob-bear...

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