Monday, August 9, 2010

Your Own

Some things
are easier than others
and some days
are easier than others, too.

Sometimes
blue days just happen
and sometimes
blue days turn into blue weeks
and while there are different shades of blue
having long periods of feeling
some shade of blue
is just no fun at all.

It is during these times
that our insecurities
are at their peak power.

We didn't feed them
but we do keep them
and when we are feeling blue
they like to grab at us
with both hands
and whisper into our ears
in a deafening
thunderous
roar.

They ask the questions
that cause the doubts
that we are not strong enough
to resist when we are feeling blue
and they perpetuate the cycle
and make us feel even more isolated
no matter how many people surround us
or even if we usually enjoy
quiet solitude
their roaring whispers
keep us from contentment
and churn us up inside
with feelings of worthlessness.

And where are your friends?
they whisper
Who cares how you are feeling?
What you are going through?
Are any friendships real anyway?

And every absence
from those who have their own
shades of blue days to deal with
and who have their own insecurities
and their own priorities
and demands on their lives
but who
nevertheless
are absent
feeds the doubts more and more
and the long dark tea time of the soul
stretches into the wee small hours
and you're left pondering
what to do
how to change
what mistakes you made
and knowing
that you get out what you put in
so suck it up princess
this is your reality
now go out there and live it
or sit here
in the dark
and fumble around
in the gloom
looking to others to save you
when you weren't even broken, lost or fallen
to begin with
you just allowed the wrong voices
more power than they deserve
when the only one
with any real power
is your own

2 comments:

Natalie said...

It is true that the most powerful voice is your own, been thinking about it all morning. I think mine must be out to lunch with yours.xx

Rob-bear said...

The "long dark tea time of the soul" is perhaps the time to embrace the shadowed side, befriend it in yourself, and speak to it with your own strong voice.

That was from this morning's worship.

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