In Life

There are so many things
that I don't understand
least of which
is why the things I think
and the things I want
are so far away
from the life I live.

Each day
starts with such promise
and there is so much
that I want to do
and I feel so busy
yet so tired
right through to my bones
so even though
I feel like I never stop
I'm still not doing
the things that I want to do
and plan to do
and seem to see
others doing.

Expectation has a lot to answer for
and that is something
that I understand
and accept
but am still so painfully aware
of the incongruence
between my mind
and my existence.

Yet somehow
through the fog and calamity
I still feel hope
and that is something
that I hadn't felt
for such a long time
so when I feel it now
I am grateful.

I am also grateful
for the lessons I learn
and I know that
even those that I forget
stay with my subconscious
like the messages of my dreams
and build on the creation
that I was born to be
and to continue to develop into
and to fulfil my purpose in life.