Ever Received

So surprised
to hear your words
from a third person
unbiased
and without reason
to be taited.

So surprised
that the sadness I felt
that the failure I felt
that the shame
the heartache
and the the constant regret I felt
couldn't have been
further from the truth
of your feelings
on our shared experiences.

To know that you think of the good things
the things I gave
that I resented your ungratefulness of
that I had always hoped
you would one day appreciate
and to have confirmation
that your appreciation
has truly been longstanding
and that you have forgiven me
of my failings
and shortcomings
means more to me
that I could have possibly hoped.

I can't help but thinking
that the peace that I am now feeling
and the affirmations I have received
from a third person
has to do with my magical workings
that were directed entirely
at my own inner healing
without need of expectations
from others
has come full circle
and have delivered
what I never thought
I would have ever received.