Not Fair

I hate ANZAC day.

It's not that I'm not patriotic.

It's not that I am not grateful.

It's not that I am selfish.

It's just that I can't see past
all of the atrocities
all of the lives destroyed
all of the lies
the pain
the loss
the waste
the fear
the blood
the cripling effects
that live on
and continue to scar
generation after generation.

I am a child
of a Vietnam Veteran
and I have grown up
with a father
who continued to serve
in the army reserve
while I grew my awareness
of the far reaching ripples
of the propaganda
and stupidity
that so many people suffered because of
except for those
who were really at fault.

One of my strongest values
is a great vehemence for war
and everything it entails.

I wish for a world
where war could not exist.

War epitomises
the dark side
of the human spirit.

That I have never had to
stare down the barrel of a gun
at another human being
and feel the need to kill
is the only thing I am grateful for
when it comes to ANZAC day.

I am not proud
of a country
who committed human lives
that were not thiers to give
and who destoyed so much
to so many people
and expected everyone to move on.

There are no positive feelings for me
when it comes to ANZAC day.

Just sadness.

And reminders
of the realisations
I grew up with
and knowing
that for so many, many more
my realisations
were their reality.

And that's not fair.