Monday, July 8, 2013

I do

Feeling
Like I am working harder
And being less appreciated
Than I have ever been before.

I struggle with ego.

Not so much mine
Or at least more than average.

But I struggle
With the ego
Of others.

I find it confronting
When someone says something
Only to be shot down
Or my advice'd
Or me, me, me'd by another.

Rather than simply
Being listened to
To being heard
To being able to express themselves
Without judgement.

There is no safe space.

We wish for it.

We imagine it.

But it does not exist.

Because no one else
Can ever be trusted
With our inner most thoughts.

These are the ones
That we need to process
Independently.

Without the influence
Of others
Who have a different perspective
A different focus
A different grasp on reality.

And that necessarily means
The world is
In all reality
Made up in some
Complete arseholes.

But that is the nature
Of The World.

And as much
As I hate it,
I see it for what it is...

I live that exists
Beyond the ideals
Of decency
Of common sense
Of all possible outcomes.

Time is cruel.

It teaches us things
That we learn alone
That we can only dream to share
With those who can do
Anything about them.

It takes so much
And delivers so little.

It deprives us
With little reward.

It promises the world
And delivers an atlas.

Life is full
Of swings
And round abouts.

We go up.

We go down.

As we constant go
Round and round
None the wiser
But certainly more
Dazed and confused.

None if it makes sense.

Most of it is confusing.

Much of it is abhorrent.

But what can we do.?

What can we change?

What could we effect
Even if we still had
The heart to do so?

Regretfully
Painfully
Aware.

Seeing the good
As well as the bad
But only seeing the bad
As having any longevity
And resonance.

Enough.

Is what I've had.

But I've this point and time
Just what can I do?

1 comment:

Lisa said...

****smooch****
I am always here for you xxx

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