Had a bit of a disappointing day today, but only because I let myself end up feeling that way. A very good friend from a previous life (high school and a few years after but it still feels like several lifetimes ago now) and her dad who I was also really close to throughout our friendship had driven about 5 hours to be within half an hour of my home and was going to stop by but didn't. It ended up being a lot of preparation to ensure the house was respectable and everything was done so I could sit down with her and enjoy a good catch up after rearranging and postponing several things that I had planned followed by hours of waiting around until I finally get an email saying she's not coming.
Being me who tends to tell things like they are and doesn't feign pleasantries as a rule, I am inclined to just sever all ties but I know that would mean holding onto the negative feelings that I have been experiencing this afternoon, including reliving the many issues and hurts that have happened between us over the years for various reason. The only problem is, I can't see myself like that any more and find that I no longer have the energy to sustain those kinds of feelings.
There is actually another person in my life who does this to me quite a lot and now I just no longer make plans with them but am happy to talk on the phone, txt and chat online. And if she were to ever turn up here or if we were out and bumped into each other, we would absolutely have a wonderful time together. I just don't make plans with her because I have found her to be so repeatedly unreliable.
Once I got over the disappointment, frustration and old angers, I was really proud to find that I was thinking about the good things that are possible as a result: my house is really, really shiny and there is absolutely no housework to do for a few days at least; I completed the tidy up of my lair (study) that I had been labouring through for so long and the end result is still an entirely manageable in tray, I got to paint my nails which I love doing but so rarely have the time to do, I can finish my detox before eating the yummy snacks I bought for my expected guests, and I can keep working on a few other areas in my life that I am disappointed in that seeing people from the past reinforces.
In other news, things have been falling over here today for no apparent reasons and there are a few other things happening so I am going to do some space cleansing tomorrow. Perfect timing with the house so tidy, too (that's glass-half-full-girl pipping up there).
Before I go, I'd just like to leave you with this little blessing: