Monday, December 13, 2010

Deserve That

Little pockets of anger
have become
my newest companions.

Perhaps it is because
I have denied them for so long.

Perhaps I have been blind.

Perhaps I didn't feel
like I was worthy
of getting upset over.

But now
it is invading
my sleep
as well as my waking moments.

I think you will feel
like I have abandoned you
rejected you
but the real problem is
I feel
abandoned and rejected
by you.

Family is a strange beast.

A strange beast indeed.

For people we know
and who we know
know us
and who our rational mind
tell us
that when we are apart
we do not need
one another
our subconscious
tells us
a completely
different
story.

Family
is who we are connected to
despite the reality
of who we are
and sometimes
when we feel
we cannot heal
the wounds of family
we know
in our heart of hearts
that we cannot escape them either.

Tonight
I sit in silent contemplation
and wish you well
as much as
I wish you wished me well.

I really think we both deserve that.

4 comments:

Rob-bear said...

Ah yes, Wendy. Curious indeed.

Fortunately, we also have friends; they are the family we choose for ourselves. They often make up for the other family.

Rob-bear said...

P.S.: I am so sorry that your anger intrudes on your sleep. That's the one place where you should be able to stabilize yourself, despite the anger.

Lisa said...

living with the little pockets of anger is indeed a fine art and I am yet to master it.
I have physically and emotionally abandoned so many people , things, situations in the last two years because i had to, had to for my own health and sanity- maybe this is the case with you.
pockets of anger- yes, very well put.xx

Anonymous said...

oh yes family,or what you call family,relationships with any one seems so hard these days,i dont understand it,so im not going to say to you everything will be fine,deborah,xxxxxxx

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