Friday, April 10, 2009

Reason #483 As To Why I Need A Maid

Well, it's no surprise that the vacuuming didn't get done until today, but what an excellent effort was made when I finally did it. I must have been going for two hours solid. I even vacuumed the front porch and the outside of the front door screen and all of the cournices in the house.

One of the thoughts that I often ponder, particularly on two hour vacumming benders, is about the poor little spiders (Jac, if you're reading this, you may want to stop here and read no further). We have a lot of Daddy Long Legs here, rarely found upstairs, but oh, how they love the cornices downstairs. I don't like to spray them for many reasons, none the least being that they tend to stay there as a constant reminder of my crimes. My solution is generally to vacuum them up.

But, when doing this, I often wonder how this seems to the spiders themselves. I do like to think that they find the trip through the ducted vacuuming system something like a roller coaster ride at the spider equivalent of a theme park.

A somewhat less comforting thought is that they do, in fact, meet their makers through a quick and painless demise.

A significantly more disconcerting thought is that they survive the ordeal, shaken and rather pissed and that they are gathering numbers in the vacuum chamber ready to decend upon the sorry bastards who forcefully removed them from their peaceful existence and that they will lie in wait until they are ready to extract an evil but thoroughly deserved revenge on the perpetrator - namely, me!

This is why I am clearly not suited to tasks that occupy my body but not my mind and why I should do my best to avoid housework of any kind. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Jen said...

Goddess you are funny Wendy!!!

Sarah said...

LMAO hon - I do love your posts!! I hate to admit I have wondered this myself. Thanks for the giggle, I've been way to serious this week!!! BB, Sarah

Michelle said...

Oh yes, I have pondered this dilemma myself.....where do all the invisible spiders

Hippy Witch said...

HAHA, you do make me laugh Wendy, but the poor spiders, I pick them up on the broom and take them outside. You shouldn't kill them because they eat the flies and mozzies, they work very hard.

Anonymous said...

I'd have to go with the last possibility. The spider uprising is COMING people!

angela said...

This is the main reason I don't do the cobwebs. Angry spiders coming after me.Yukky!

Lisa said...

are you PAUL ?
and if so, how and why ?
if not, you probably think i am a loon but someone named PAUL posted on my blog but signed the comment WENDY....whattha ????

Debbi said...

HAHAH. They're plotting, down in the depths of that vacuum chamber now, you know. Some day, you're gonna regret not spraying them! LOL

yuck. Just step on them FIRST, and then vacuum. I'd say it's humaner that way, but frankly, I just don't want the suckers to POSSIBLY live through the whole 'vacuum ride'.

Hippy Witch said...

Where have you gone, you haven't blogged for a whole week.

Myst_72 said...

Oh no....

You've said it now....vacuum.

I loathe it x 593712349

It is the single worst job besides folding washing and putting it away - oh the horror!

Yes, I think to save the little spiders vacuuming should stop.

Or be done by someone else that doesn't care :)

It takes me a good two hours to do my place too....