Very tired and lethargic - slept most of yesterday, even after a decent nights sleep and then with a good nights sleep after that.
Feel like I'm struggling mentally but not with anything in particular. Having some seriously concerning thoughts about the futility of it all in regards to the world in general, pretty intense and have tried to ignore but I constantly feel like they are not far from the surface.
Feel like a totally different person to who I was a few days ago, and different again to who I was a few days before that.
Intense cravings for chocolate - probably just premenstrual - but no thoughts for alcohol, which is good. Cheated on the diet already. Was soooo hungry yesterday and ate and ate and ate but only allowable things in between naps on the lounge but succumbed in the night :-(
Not sure what is going on in my head.
Big doubts about potential new business. Did a tarot reading about that as follows:
1. Short term positive: VIII Swords - mental anguish, separation
2. Mid-long term positive: X Wands - heavy burden
3. Short term negative: II Coins - juggling money
4. Mid-long term positive: XI Justice - legal issues
5. Go/No go - should I proceed: XVIII Moon - things are not what they seem (I also dropped the moon card when shuffling)
So, this seems to be pretty clear to me that this is not a good idea. I then did a spread regarding my employment prospects as follows:
1. Short term: Queen of Swords - strong, intellectual woman
2. Mid term: XIV Temperance - balance
3. Long term: Knight of Wands - action, travel, movement
4. Overall: XV Devil - slave to the grind
Not a particularly wonderful reading but a safer one and one that is much more me.
Took myself off to the movies today, which was great. Saw 'Burn after reading' with George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Most unusual and I'm still not sure if I liked it or not. The reviews were really mixed and I can understand why, patience and tolerance were needed but it was a quirky yet simple plot and the acting was good. There were a few surprises but a partially good outcome and it moved quite nicely throughout. Only cost me $8 as well, which was a bonus. Picked up some fruit and vege at Harris Farm Markets so we are very well stocked in that department here now.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
A Good Thing
Have new business name so it's starting to seem very real now. Trying to design a logo. The tea lady is making an appointment with the accountant. I have an appointment with the Business Enterprise Centre. Our first potential client is about to lose their current provider. The time is upon us.
My affirmation card from last night was 'Doorways to awareness':
All painful pitfalls and disturbing experiences in my life are potential doorways to higher awareness. Each such created episode offers me a chance to see beyond the illusionary "hard luck" stories of life. Within every negative event is the opportunity to challenge the emotion of fear and wisely chose love instead. True perception identifies each fear as it is presented and I am empowered with an awareness that enables me, via a God-centred faith, to transmute fear to love.
I know it sounds very emotional but I think it fits really well with my mundane life at the moment. Getting a lot of negative events and doubt was attacking the surety that I felt when I received the news that the office where I was working was closing and this was creating fear. If I look at this time as a challenge that will help me overcome my fears then that surely must be a good thing.
My affirmation card from last night was 'Doorways to awareness':
All painful pitfalls and disturbing experiences in my life are potential doorways to higher awareness. Each such created episode offers me a chance to see beyond the illusionary "hard luck" stories of life. Within every negative event is the opportunity to challenge the emotion of fear and wisely chose love instead. True perception identifies each fear as it is presented and I am empowered with an awareness that enables me, via a God-centred faith, to transmute fear to love.
I know it sounds very emotional but I think it fits really well with my mundane life at the moment. Getting a lot of negative events and doubt was attacking the surety that I felt when I received the news that the office where I was working was closing and this was creating fear. If I look at this time as a challenge that will help me overcome my fears then that surely must be a good thing.
Monday, November 10, 2008
All Very Serious
Doing much better today.
Wonderful weekend!
Nice drive up to Diamond Beach. Went to the beach on arrival then jumped in the pool - the length of the days at this time of year are sooooo nice. Accommodation listed as 3.5 star but nicer than some 4 star places we have stayed and only $110 per night. The whole place was really nice and I thought it was just perfect for what we needed. Very neat and tidy and very well decked out. I was very happy there.
BBQ dinner and board games. Showers then kids in bed. Nice bonding time with The Starchild but didn't get to talk ideas with him about the tea lady and my potential business venture; I did appreciate the increased support from initial reactions though.
Saturday morning saw The Starchild and the widdies heading down the beach after breakfast and me with an hour or so to myself *smiles*
Had leftover BBQ chicken wings and sausages for breakky; tidied up and had a shower. Headed down the beach where it was warmish but cloudy overhead and a fair breeze blowing. Watched dolphins playing in the breaking waves and enjoyed the elements. Pool next, then putt putt golf. Games room after lunch and giant chess with me and the Kman (even though we didn't really know the rules).
All quite organised for departure on Sunday, no stress, played in park before leaving and napped in the car on the way home. Happy days.
Had yummy frozen Aldi char-grilled vegies for lunch and decided on zero-tolerance on crazy shake diet again. Wish me luck with that! Committing to meditating, drinking 2 litres of water and getting around 7 hours sleep each day. Also, increasing activity levels - aiming at exercising at least four times per week. Feeling much more positive about this aspect as well.
The Starchild's truck is still stuffed. Gear box not right. In and running but needing to come out and that is sure to be a problem. Offered to pray; what else can ya do, eh?
Got the cleaning bug last night and it seems to have carried into today a bit. Got through all of the clothes and enough ironing to last the week and still have plans to get through some more but it will probably be tomorrow night. Have YAAD stuff to do today but am getting ahead on that where I was previously abysmally behind, would not have been able to catch up if still working - now, there's that glass half full girl again!
Thinking more and more about how to make the potential business opportunity a viable option. Would be easier if didn't have child care to consider as that is a major factor in decision. I really need a job now as we really need the money (refer to previous comments re: truck, not to mention normal living expenses, birthdays and that most expensive time of the year - Christmas!) but I would like to get things up and running as quickly as possible.
Made an appointment with the Business Enterprise Centre for next Monday. Trying to find a good name that hasn't already been taken. Eyeing off a particular customer that would get us started. Have potential office space sorted. Looking at IT&T, banking. This all sounds very serious, doesn't it? And all this while in the middle of doing a water change on my fish tank - I'd better get back to that now.
Wonderful weekend!
Nice drive up to Diamond Beach. Went to the beach on arrival then jumped in the pool - the length of the days at this time of year are sooooo nice. Accommodation listed as 3.5 star but nicer than some 4 star places we have stayed and only $110 per night. The whole place was really nice and I thought it was just perfect for what we needed. Very neat and tidy and very well decked out. I was very happy there.
BBQ dinner and board games. Showers then kids in bed. Nice bonding time with The Starchild but didn't get to talk ideas with him about the tea lady and my potential business venture; I did appreciate the increased support from initial reactions though.
Saturday morning saw The Starchild and the widdies heading down the beach after breakfast and me with an hour or so to myself *smiles*
Had leftover BBQ chicken wings and sausages for breakky; tidied up and had a shower. Headed down the beach where it was warmish but cloudy overhead and a fair breeze blowing. Watched dolphins playing in the breaking waves and enjoyed the elements. Pool next, then putt putt golf. Games room after lunch and giant chess with me and the Kman (even though we didn't really know the rules).
All quite organised for departure on Sunday, no stress, played in park before leaving and napped in the car on the way home. Happy days.
Had yummy frozen Aldi char-grilled vegies for lunch and decided on zero-tolerance on crazy shake diet again. Wish me luck with that! Committing to meditating, drinking 2 litres of water and getting around 7 hours sleep each day. Also, increasing activity levels - aiming at exercising at least four times per week. Feeling much more positive about this aspect as well.
The Starchild's truck is still stuffed. Gear box not right. In and running but needing to come out and that is sure to be a problem. Offered to pray; what else can ya do, eh?
Got the cleaning bug last night and it seems to have carried into today a bit. Got through all of the clothes and enough ironing to last the week and still have plans to get through some more but it will probably be tomorrow night. Have YAAD stuff to do today but am getting ahead on that where I was previously abysmally behind, would not have been able to catch up if still working - now, there's that glass half full girl again!
Thinking more and more about how to make the potential business opportunity a viable option. Would be easier if didn't have child care to consider as that is a major factor in decision. I really need a job now as we really need the money (refer to previous comments re: truck, not to mention normal living expenses, birthdays and that most expensive time of the year - Christmas!) but I would like to get things up and running as quickly as possible.
Made an appointment with the Business Enterprise Centre for next Monday. Trying to find a good name that hasn't already been taken. Eyeing off a particular customer that would get us started. Have potential office space sorted. Looking at IT&T, banking. This all sounds very serious, doesn't it? And all this while in the middle of doing a water change on my fish tank - I'd better get back to that now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)