Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tonight might be a good night to...

Melbourne Cup Day - the race that stops the nation in Australia. Although I abhor the whole whipping the horses to push them to their limits thing, they are such beautiful beasts and I am mesmerised by the way they move so this race always gives me a flutter in my chest. I remember when I first went to The Cottage having a series of vivid dreams with one of them something about a white horse rearing up on the road out the front (but in front of the school field, I think) on a horrendously windy night and a branch falling off the tree. There is an affinity there that touches my heart but which my head just does not understand.

US Presidential Election day has begun over there. Praying for safety coz there's some crazy fucks out there. I don't really have an opinion on who *should* win and what it will mean either way but America and the whole world are on the eve of another momentous moment in history potentially marking the start of a new era.

Had a moment of doubt at class last night over Assignment Part Two - Who are YOU? I didn't even read over the whole thing before I handed it in and having written the bulk of it while drunk I may not have applied all of the normal social filters - but I guess that is what the assignment is about. The issue is that I know it is good for me to explore these things but I don't know if they should be read by others, particularly ones who I am so confused about in terms of trust and friendship. I think that is also part of the confusion I have about letting ppl know about this blog. So, for a moment I was sitting there thinking to myself, "I'll just ask for it back. I know that if they can see I've done it but if I explain that I don't feel comfortable with anyone reading it then that will be ok." But I couldn't work out where that sat on the honesty scale - was I being honest enough or was I being too honest. Either way I decided creating a kerfuffle about it would be worse so I just left it handed in.

Then I read another YAAD'er blog where they had two issues - one was that they weren't in a fit state to be delving into those questions at this moment in their lives, but the other was that acknowledged that it could be helpful to answer the questions but they didn't know if they were comfortable with it being read. Apparently we should just be looking at this as a 'how far i've come since starting YAAD' reflection, and I'm cool with that.

Worked on my collages for my YAAD scrapbook. Just need to get a few more air pictures and then paste that one in and then I'm up to date. Didn't get notes for this lesson last night so am not yet further being in BOS and assignments are up to date - gotta count the wins as they come to me, baby.

Thinking tonight might be a good night to draw a gnome. Might see how I go with that now...

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