Sunday, November 2, 2008

Assignment Part Two

Landscaper who was due on Friday is now going to come out tomorrow. Will be lovely to get some ideas happening but need the money to do it. Hopefully the quote will be reasonable and I will get a job so we can go ahead with it. Would really loooooovvve to get the back yard all sorted. Have trampoline already and have agreed on what we want to do where, now just need to make it happen. Surely it can't be that hard.

Went to Park Lea Markets today and bought some fake water lilies for the pond. They only had three white ones and I really want to keep the white and purple flower thing happening in the faerie garden so only bought the three but they look lovely. I hope they last! Will pick up some more if I see them.

One of my moss green tiger barbs did not look the best today. Sent it some energy but have to be careful with fish coz they're so little. I did like the guppies as am a fan of live bearers but at the same time I do like the other more aggressive fish - but not the angel fish as they trick you with their name and then eat the other fish, which is bad. Am glad to have taken the tank to the next stage.

Saturday saw a transformation in the lair as well. An alter seems to be taking shape quite by accident, but more of a decorative spiritual expression than entirely functional at this stage. Yes, "decorative spiritual expression" - that sounds about right.

My current status update on fb is "Wendy would like to know what I should program in as your custom ring tone on my phone...?" I wish I had a cool answer to that one myself. Will have to work on that.

Things are quiet in cyberspace. Would like to pontificate more but am limiting myself to writing about only those that I can come up with fitting psydonymns for. It's like a cosmic confirmation that I am ready to explore my thoughts in those areas. Suffice to say that I have been confused but now I am at the point where I am just happy to keep being me. I've invested a lot of time over the last few years and finding out who me is and I'm cool with that. I realise that some days I like me and some days I don't so it's entirely normal that other ppl will most likely be the same about how they feel about me. My focus is on being me, not being someone else's right or wrong perception of me based on their experiences and present issues. I'd also much rather put energy into how I can help, rather than how I can sulk. If I've misunderstood friendship (and I'm increasingly of the opinion that this is something everyone in the world does on a daily basis due to mixed messages and incorrect understandings of the complexities of human resilience) then I'm happy being the friend I want to be rather than the friend I'm perceived as not being. It's my opinion that the withdrawal from friendship is just another wall built as part of a self-defense mechanism. But that's just my opinion and it is as ill-informed as the wall builder would have it be.

But, because of all this, I have been thinking more about my guides and while I am not in a state of longing I would still really like to connect with them more. I know I will when the time is right and I worry that many ppl see their guides and angels in times of peril, which I don't want to invite into my life. Something that struck true (which I understand is the feeling of how guide sometimes communicate with us) is that my guides are all standing in a close outward facing circle around me. It's funny that my musical guest described her knowledge of mini curlz as clear communication from God. And she is not a freak or a weirdo and is entirely credible and balanced and one who I respect and love dearly, although has had some pretty serious issues when I come to think of it and has needed medical help to deal with them. I find that I am very much intriged by what these messages, regardless of who ppl think they are from, actually sound like.

A line on The Mentalist (not a very good show and one that I have only seen twice and not in it's entirity) was something along the lines that all psychics are either deluded or are liars. Isn't that interesting? I don't believe it's true but it's a very convincing line of thought, don't you think?

I'm sure there are many other thoughts and feelings that I'd like to explore but for now I just need to record that I have extended the hand of friendship to someone who may or may not consider me friend and there is a parallel family issue that I have been avoiding for more than two years now that I feel I am being forced to act on now. So act I will. And then I will start on part two of my assignment due tomorrow.

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