Tuesday, February 2, 2010

How It Should Be

you work really hard on something
and get it exactly how you like it
a minor tweak here and there
but otherwise
it's all perfectly functional
just so
just you
just right
and you think you will never change it

and sometimes
something happens and it has to change

and sometimes
nothing happens
but you wake up one morning
or you suddenly realise as you're buttering your toast
or doing the vacuuming
or when you're stopped at a traffic light
or having a shower
(my favourite is the shower)

that it has to change
that you want it to change

there is no should
no maybe
no perhaps, might, ifs, buts or otherwise

its just no longer you

and you know
that is, you just *know*
that it no longer serves you to hold onto it anymore

and you don't just think about changing it
you do it
straight away

and once it's done
you feel better
you feel good about it
you don't miss it at all
even though you are glad that it was what it was
you are even gladder that it is what it now is

and it gives you a calm

well, that is 2010 for me
maybe for you, too

sure, it happens all the time
well, maybe not *all* the time
but its not particularly unusual
for most people

but 2010 is proving to be one of these things after another
in areas that I didn't think needed any changes at all

and I'm not worried
because I am trusting in myself
believing in those feelings
that knowing

and it may not all turn out 100% perfect
first time
every time

but, then again, what does?

but having made the change
is good

in 2010 I am expecting the unexpected
and trusting
and having faith
and listening
and answering

yes, that is now
and that is how it should be

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